I'm getting tired of hearing the words "are you okay?" as for me the only answer I know is "I'm fine" or "yes" when in reality, I'm not and it kills me inside that I'm kinda lying to the people that I love the most but what really bugs me the most is when people call me a liar and an attention seeker...
Would I have self-harmed if I needed that much attention NO... it was a way for me to express the pain that I was feeling and being able to release the pain in a way that I knew would work....or so I thought.
I was called a "Pill Popper" just because I take tablets to help my mental health.....but what hurts the most is that I'm nowhere near getting the help I need which is really starting to get on my nerves
I never intended this blog to be about my mental health but for some reason, I want to let others know that there aren't alone and that I will be there for them in person or through a computer... No-one should feel so alone to the point where they get themselves so down.
Saturday, 26 March 2016
Monday, 7 March 2016
my mental illness
do you feel locked up inside you head with no escape, head banging, voices breaking, people hurt well thats me, i'm a messed up kind of person and i think you probably hate me for that.....ive gotten to the point where my mental health has relapsed and im suffering badly from it all.
i've messed up and i've mesed up badly and i dont think that what i do will bring everything back to normal (oh wait i aint normal) i never will be.....i lied to people close to me.....i even lied to people i didnt like all because i made a profile that vented my feelings through statuses but everyone took it to their advantage and abuse me on there which led more people to message me and then i lost it and started biting back with things i shouldnt have even said and made it worse....i cant lead a normal life and i dont think i ever will.
i'm losing the people that i love and what i can gather is you can die from a broken heart but i think mines already broken and im already experiencing signs of pain already
i've had a huge mental breakdown i hit my parents, my dog bit me, police had to take me away, i lost most forms of contact and will probably lose my job too and become homeless
lets just sum up the fact that i will never get better and im hurting the people i love to the point where ive broke my own heart and im holding onto my life by a thread that can snap at any minute from now
i've messed up and i've mesed up badly and i dont think that what i do will bring everything back to normal (oh wait i aint normal) i never will be.....i lied to people close to me.....i even lied to people i didnt like all because i made a profile that vented my feelings through statuses but everyone took it to their advantage and abuse me on there which led more people to message me and then i lost it and started biting back with things i shouldnt have even said and made it worse....i cant lead a normal life and i dont think i ever will.
i'm losing the people that i love and what i can gather is you can die from a broken heart but i think mines already broken and im already experiencing signs of pain already
i've had a huge mental breakdown i hit my parents, my dog bit me, police had to take me away, i lost most forms of contact and will probably lose my job too and become homeless
lets just sum up the fact that i will never get better and im hurting the people i love to the point where ive broke my own heart and im holding onto my life by a thread that can snap at any minute from now
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